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Sunday 6 September 2009

I Am Not Here To Make You Comfortable

I Am Not Here To Make You Comfortable
Flickr / Thierry EhrmannWhen acquaint with is no enemy within, the enemies shell cannot you. - African Proverb

My greatest prominent distinctive identities are that I'm African, Black, Catholic, and a mortal. Depending on the context and pole, one capacity be supplementary demonstrate than the other. And I've speculative as I expansion inwards margin, this tends to block out people's stance of me; it makes unfolding to all parts of me, puzzling, for "them". Not for example I'm a puzzling individual to smear with - at least I want I'm not - but for example various residents don't materialize to know what to do since insightfulness of self is embraced great than denied. And residents become uncomfortable; but I am not surrounding to make you cool.

Impart is a assumption that for example I'm Black African and not Black American, I necessitate not be drawn in with racial form - habitually forgetting that it is a supporting scholarly trickery of haul out. And at era I point to rejected by Africans living in the Coupled States for timely to disquiet in my opinion with the put up of Blackness here; but any rejected by Black Americans for example my get donate ever be mixed fact that our histories are background but not symmetrical. I can go in and out of Snow-white seats settle conveniently for example of fiscal and social and intellectual fair. But then I aid to shot these Snow-white seats with my Black interests and my Black manifestation. And in so conduct yourself, I bolt been making residents discomfited.

The African in me is constructed by the Nigerian in me, and the Nigerian in me is catered to by growing up in its diaspora, yet well-read by the "Urhobo" customs I was innate inwards. The African in me is sharp and intensely self-satisfied - self-satisfied of my inheritance and self-satisfied of my people; programmed to expose what has been industrious revealed, programmed to refurbish over. The African in me is thorough with a consciousness that is incommunicable to persons in need it, but it is a speaker that beats beside my soul. And it is the speaker I use to shot Western accepted wisdom of ethics, of truth, of stance, of history, and death. And in so conduct yourself, I bolt been making residents discomfited.

The Catholic in me is stiffen and traditional, time after time seeking truth where I can find it. My trust shapes me, it forms me, it informs how I notice my stop on earth and what I aid and don't aid. Although the Clerical donate ever be a committed home town, it is to me any a spiritual home. It is a place with a thrilling but foreign God at its guide, yet through up of unmanageable residents under attack to honor together; under attack to be whatsoever. The Catholic in me is dedicated but changeable, disparate every one human culture and committed circles on issues of life, and love, and autonomy, and what all of these mean to a God who gives us free donate. And in so conduct yourself, I bolt been making residents discomfited.

The mortal in me was twisted by a mother who brought me up to be weak and ferocious; skilled by a birth to inconvenience the express quo since what I find isn't good a load. Sufficient and duct, tomboyish and girlish, powerful and smart; unwilling to place in my opinion in a featureless box of forthcoming, and self-effacing by persons who to be found the box in the cap place. Amongst no use for labels to define this physique, or how I look as if in this spirit, I block out maturity blameless for fun. And in so conduct yourself, I bolt been making residents point to discomfited.

To all the residents I bolt been making discomfited, I do not mourning to inform you that I am not sorry; I am not regretful at all. And probably you sink to get out of your happy zones and throw your front doorstep, and get the loud world outside; the one higher than the perceptions of your inventiveness. I bolt speculative inoperative correspondence about my interests and in my opinion, that ego who chooses to give up any part of you, or hates any part of you, can never really know you. And for example of that, they can never really love you. You see, you bolt to love a individual in all their parts and anything less than that is a sham, a color, and a disgraceful expedient that the individual is do better than off in need. Does that make you uncomfortable?

In receipt of to the moment in time where I can genuinely be all the material I am, at all era, in need wondering who is examination, who is listening, and who is discontinue me back, has brought me to unwind this broadsheet. So let it be standard that I donate not play down my Blackness, alter my African-ness, pacify my Catholic-ness and become a mixed mortal in your manifestation, in order to make you point to good or do better than or best. No, I donate shot you with all my identities and derivation you to shift in your seat, and rigorous awkwardly pronounce, on tenterhooks for the journal of me that you bolster - only to surface that journal does not exist; she never existed. I've speculative to be present in, and love, all the material that make me, me. And this full-time, life-sized, grown-up, and loud journal is the only one that I can partake of. And if that makes you discomfited, well now you know: I am not surrounding to make you cool.

Source: about-world-religions.blogspot.com