Grace and I decided to change the workings to start on Friday and Saturday instead of Saturday and Sunday, which aids her staying focused on school work. She is having to go through the last few weeks of the semester, and all of the work and preparation for final tests that that implies. Always the able acrobat, she is managing to balance her mundane commitments to training and schoolwork as well as working these ordeals by my side. I feel blessed by her presence. Her impressions of the working parallel my own, giving me an objective perspective on them that I would not otherwise have.
November 27 - Invocation of Yehoel, Seraphim of the elemental tetrad of Air. Approximate start was around 7:40 pm CST, locking in the planetary hour of Mars. The circle was consecrated, mass and a benediction were performed. Yehoel was a mind blowing entity, literally causing me to experience an internal expansion of my mind that left me rather dazed and muddled afterward. Nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced that night!
At first, after the invocation had been completed, I saw and heard nothing, even though the energy in the temple was considerable (there undoubtedly was "something" in the temple). Then I showed the sigil of Ratziel and then I saw a blurry human form take shape above me, with a deep blue colored body and a large white head (turban?) - this blurry form increased in magnitude until it revealed a giant golden-white illuminated crystal that seemed to enclose me in its light. Yehoel spoke clearly and concisely into my mind, giving me much to ponder and think about, but I also noticed that my very mind was also expanding as he communicated to me. I saw all of the flaws and imperfections in my ritual structures and verbiage, and knew what to do to perfect them to a higher refinement than they are currently. I also saw my own spiritual and magickal path and the magickal path of many others who are also working magick as I am. These are my peers, there were quite a number of them, all brothers and sisters, all engaging the issues of working magick from different but analogous perspectives.
Yet each of us are so narrowly engaged in our pursuits that we miss the bigger picture - the whole of the discipline of magick rather than the specific practice of one individual. I realized that each of these individuals were very close spiritual kindred of mine, and that it would benefit us greatly if we could but find a way to unite and share all of our hard won knowledge with each other. Considering the egotistical nature of some if not nearly all magicians working magick, this would be a pretty tall order. However, in order to truly realize the totality of magick and its capabilities, all of these different perspectives need to be united - like the facets of a complex crystal coming together and into focus. I was seeing, for the first time, the unified perspective and discipline of all systems of ritual and ceremonial magick, and I was astonished at how profound and all-encompassing this united discipline actually was. I saw the union of science and religion under the banner of magick. Of course I am not the first to see this vision (Crowley made it a motto of the periodical the Equinox), but it still eludes us even into the beginning of the second decade of the twenty-first century. What is required is a meta-system, but that will have to wait for a group of brilliant individuals who will be able to cross barriers of ego-based ownership and personal magickal pride.
These are some of Yehoel's words of wisdom to me.
Yehoel is concerned with the nature and revelation of what Crowley called the True Will, and what I call a person's individual manifest destiny. Yehoel told me that the true will is discovered through the resolution of parables, riddles, paradoxes and puzzles about the nature of reality, chance (fortune), and inherent capabilities (and flaws) associated with the individual. So the true will is not something that is straightforward, it's more of a profound personal mystery - one that requires a constant focused inquiry. However, all personal destinies are resolved at the same point - ultimate union with the godhead, whether a person realizes that truth or not. Such a state is not guaranteed, but it's part of a person's birthright. Every human being has this as their birthright, whether or not they manage to realize it in a single lifetime. Enlightenment and union with the godhead is always right there in front of us - the most obvious thing. Yet it would seem invisible to almost everyone. It is a simple thing to acquire, but usually requires a lifetime of experience and hardship before that step is actually known, discovered by the resolution of the mystery of the self and the true will.
How do we resolve this mystery about our destiny, besides living an entire lifetime and making good and probably bad decisions? Yehoel says that undergoing ecstatic union with the godhead, even in small phases and brief encounters, over time will reveal the greater truth and wisdom to ourselves. How do we approach ecstatic union with the deity? By complete and total surrender at the moment just before that merging occurs. In other words, we leave our egotistical notions and pride of our accomplishments at the gateway of the celestial temple, and enter therein as humble supplicants - full of devotion, love and the absolute surrender of one's self. This would seem to go counter to most of what is discussed and written about ceremonial and ritual magick. Often such practices are accompanied with the hazards of ego inflation.
This would seem to be a very mystical approach and very unmagickal. However, the objective of the magician and the mystic are essentially the same - union with the godhead. The real difference between them is what they do once that union is obtained. The mystic renounces the world and the magician re-enters it to become the nucleus of divinely inspired change. Obtaining spiritual ecstasy through small operations and simple steps will shatter the tough hide of the ego and open the self up to a greater spiritual perspective. So the preparation is a form of god-intoxication, particularly for this ordeal that I have derived. Without the stages of god-intoxication, the ordeal will fail. Yohoel said to me, "I am the revealer and inspirer of your personal destiny! The difficult steps - discipline and their associated hardships, these will be covered by the cherubim of Air."
The overall working gave me what seemed like a powerful brain-boost, my ability to intellectually contain all of this knowledge and to see things at the grandest and most minute levels was enhanced more than a hundred-fold. I felt like I was stoned or even kind of drunk - I couldn't articulate or think in a focused manner even after the gateway was closed, dismissing the spirit. Even attempting to ground myself by eating some food had little effect. I had to retire very soon after the working, so potent was the experience. When I awoke the next day, the effect was still upon me, although somewhat diminished. If I focused too long on something, I felt myself completely and totally pulled into that string of thought, abrogating anything else I happened to be thinking or doing. It was a strange sensation and not particularly pleasant, either.
November 28 - Invocation of Ophaniel, Cherubim of the elemental tetrad of Air. Approximate start was a little after 9:00 pm CST, locking in the planetary hour of the Moon. Grace performed the circle consecration and assisted with the mass. However, before the mass was even completed, she went off into a powerful trance state, apparently communing with Ophaniel before the invocation rite was even performed. This is not the first time that I have seen this kind of phenomenon, but it was certainly the most dramatic.
Once again, I sensed a great power in the temple immediately following the invocation, and once again the angelic spirit was silent and invisible until I presented the sigil of Ratziel as my bonafide. However, once that was accomplished, I saw above me an entity that was shrouded in an orange and reddish light, and the voice I heard was harsh and pointed. Ophaniel, once unleashed, proceeded to harshly judge me, pointing out all of my flaws, failings, and the various follies that I had devoted my life to and the misinformation that I had believed in. All of this was brought out, including all of the wrongs that I had done in my entire life so far, which was certainly not a pure and stellar record by any stretch of the imagination. I was greatly humbled by this powerful condemnation of me, since all of it was indeed true. I admitted as much, with the lame excuse that I am just a flawed mortal, and like all things of nature, imperfect. I did take responsibility for everything that I had done. The fact that I am learning from my mistakes and seeking to take corrective actions in order to perfect myself might give me some leeway. This admission and its associated contrition seemed to mollify Ophaniel, from that point on his demeanor was much more compassionate and charitable to me. He told me that it was always wise to admit one's mistakes and never to shrink from taking responsibility from them, and it's also quite humbling. This is an critical mind-state required to approach the admirable but equally foolish quest to become one with the godhead. So it would seem to be important to know one's limitations, but to strive for spiritual union nonetheless.
I felt as though I had just encountered a powerful test, and indeed, Ophaniel indicated that my resolve and my intention had been tested all week, what with my cold and its dragging inertia which I had to overcome. He told me that I would be continually tested even more severely in weeks ahead as I attempted to complete this ordeal. If I chose to cease my activity now, he would forgive me and allow me to do so without any repercussions. I indicated that I was resolved to complete the ordeal no matter what happened, and that short of dire illness or death, I would complete it. My answer seemed to cause him to regard me in greater esteem. He told me that the requirements of the Cherubim should be followed without failure in order to be allowed to accomplish the feat of bringing all of the eight angelic spirits together in an octagram of the empowered godhead.
So far, I had been tasked with giving alms to the poor, and had only done so in a token manner. I must show greater generosity than that and in addition, Ophaniel gave me the requirement of daily devotions, to replace the meditations that I was performing twice daily. I must spend more time giving devotions, offerings, praise to my godhead, and do so with the utmost sincerity and passionate desire for spiritual union. I should hold the sigil of Ophaniel in my right hand while I do these tasks. Faithfully executing these instructions (and the others that the next two Cherubim will require of me) will aid my cause in achieving enlightenment and union with the godhead. Failure to do these tasks will ensure that I fail in the overall working, so it is up to me to see that they are faithfully accomplished. I vowed to see them done, as I fully intend to do - starting Monday. My reason for giving me one day of rest is that I had a number of other tasks to complete on Sunday and I would be quite exhausted from the weekend of workings. This decision was sanctioned by the super-archangel.
Ophaniel then gave to me an important key to the process of magickally induced enlightenment, which is the faithful execution of devotion, love and service to the godhead. One must covet union in a single minded manner, analogous to a lover ardently and passionately seeking the object of his desires. The intensity of these devotions must become ever greater until they nearly consume one's mind, body and soul - this must be accomplished before the Bornless One Invocation is even to be performed. There should be no distractions, interruptions or diversions - one should be completely one pointed and totally focused. This is, then, my mission and objective as far as Ophaniel is concerned. Thus, the Bornless One Invocation must be accomplished with this level of deep devotion and perfect ego-less surrender. To achieve this objective, one is required to enforce a very rigorous discipline as the basis to the entire working. Failure to do this will cause the Bornless One Invocation rite to be empty and meaningless, or at least certainly a lot less impactful than it otherwise would be. Devotion and discipline are the essence of the key, and surrender at the perfect moment of manifestation of the god within is the required method.
This is what Ophaniel imparted to me at the climax of the invocation.
You have achieved the midpoint of the working, and the beginning of the really more challenging and difficult parts of the ordeal. The seraphim will inspire you, and the cherubim will challenge you, as you have never been inspired or challenged before. The cherubim are the keepers of the gateway of the godhead and they will test and judge you as either worthy or unworthy. Fulfilling their requirements is extremely important. It must be done with an open heart and a transparent motivation - anything less will cause the ordeal to fail. You will not be able to bring all eight of these super-archangels together without incurring a kind of curse on yourself - so be warned, and prepare yourself!
When you perform your devotions to the godhead, you should kneel before your shrine, give offerings and praise to the Deity, open yourself completely to it. Give offerings of flowers, incense, sacraments (food and drink), and poetic songs and words of praise and adoration. Love the Deity with all of your heart and soul. While you do these things, hold my sigil in your hand to act as a witness to them - for it will act as a key to opening the gateway of the revelation of the godhead. Note down anything that occurs and whatever is communicated to you. This you shall do every day starting the beginning of the week until the day that you perform the invocation of the Bornless One. Also, be aware of the astrological times of the event of your workings, especially its date of expected climax. You will find great mysteries revealed in the transits and progressions revealed.
Then when the spirit of Ophaniel receded, the mind numbing sensation that had afflicted me since the invocation of the seraphim the prior day disappeared completely. My mind was clear and peacefully reposed. The rite ended just around 30 minutes before midnight.
So this is what I have experienced for these two workings and they produced quite a lot to ponder and undertake. I feel resolved to complete the ordeal, but now I am beginning to realize the degree of my commitment, the challenges that I now face and the ones that lie in the near future. This ordeal will not be accomplished without a great deal of effort and work, in fact far more than I originally anticipated.
Frater Barrabbas
Reference: i-love-witchcraft.blogspot.com
